It’s been six years since I wrote ‘Bumblebee’ and the person I wrote it for is now ten … and he fancied a go at performing it !

Bumblebee, by Dom and Mikey.

Posted by Dom Gittins on Saturday, 30 May 2020

Existential Angst

If I were a cat with no tail : a manx
Would I suffer from existential angst ?
Would a pussy like me treat his life as a fail
On account of his quite unaccountable tail ?
Would the lack of a thing that I never once had
Make me catty or batty or simply quite mad ?
I think not. I’d be grounded. I’d stand on all paws.
My emotions well founded – all effects with a cause
I’d be straight like an arrow or even a beeline
cos a moggie like me is in touch with his felines


When in ‘grad
(that’s Leningrad
though whose ‘grad’s never stable:
Could be Lenin or Petro)
(You must try the Metro
Avtovo’s quite rightfully fabled)
Your feet will direct you
to Nevsky Prospekt to
go shopping or sit in a bar
Buy some boots with stout soles
cos with worn out plimsolls
in the Hermitage you won’t get far
It’s a palace and more
Many buildings and floors
Commissioned by Catherine the Great
Artists came when she beckoned
Old Catherine the Second
And it’s double the size of the Tate.


A friend of mine went to dinner at a place in London that specialises in hots dogs and champagne. I had never heard of such a thing, but if there’s one thing I do know, it’s when a rhyme is called for.

If you want a young lady for dinner
Take Louise, she’s a certified winner
She’s not boring or pensive
And never expensive
Just a hot dog and bubbly will win her

Train Delays

They’re fidgeting like they’ve got ants in their pants
There’s train delays between Surrey and Hants
From Farnham to Alton there is no hilarity
We’re shocked and distressed at this poor punctuality
But hardiness and a stiff lip overcomes
The tardiness with which we visit our Mums

Doublewide Invisible Incisors

I got doublewide invisible incisors
I got two black holes where front teeth used to be
I got space where once my wiggly pearly whites were
The tooth brigade’s been poachin’ ivory

What once was indivisibubbly rooted
Was yesterday just jiggling around
The fairy’s been and now my tooth’s transmuted
It’s only gone and turned into a pound

Shark Marbles

Catherine commented :
William, whilst I attempted a tricky reversing manoeuvre:
“Mummy, how many marbles can a shark hold in its mouth at once?”…..
The reversing bit is important to the story. Xx

Mummy was busy reversing
Her arm round the passenger seat
Her brow was furrowed deeply
Her focus was complete
Her tongue was poking up & right
She was trying so hard to park
But the question I needed answering right
Was about the great white shark
Its appetite is voracious
It’s always gobbling prey
Its mouth is quite capacious
In a toothy kind of way
It’s one of the ocean’s marvels
The fabulous way it hunts
But I wondered how many marbles
It could hold in its mouth at once
Mummy was quick to remind us
She was quite busy trying to park
When she bumped into something behind us
And said something rude about sharks

Punge the Cake

Punge the cake was a winner
Of duels with a parry and lunge
His sword work was second
To no-one at all
Hoorah for Victorious Punge !

Morning Rime Rhyme

I slipped on a poem this morning
this year for the very first time
Some hoar in the night
Had painted it white
and covered the pavement in rime


Magic rainbows,
light and liquid
but they wouldn’t
work at all with
less precipitation.