I received a challenge on Twitter yesterday via a friend, @hamstall.
It said :

@mynameisedd: The first rapper to make a rhyme with “carbaminohaemoglobin” will get my eternal respect.”

I couldn’t resist, so here’s my response.

CO2 gets bonded tight
Locked in your erythrocytes
Harbour me no fear or loathing

Father Christmas Lives in a Hole

For Olivia (Crawford) whose information this was

Father Christmas lives in a hole
But he isn’t a badger, he isn’t a mole
He lives underground in his Christmassy lair
But I don’t think that Rudolph the Reindeer lives there
No Rudy’s upstairs where reindeer food grows –
That’s where you will find that famous red nose

While under the tundra with present filled shelves
Lives Old Father Christmas with all of his elves
Along with his dog (who’s an old Pomeranian)
They all live together, their home’s subterranean

Their factory’s there too where they wrap all the gifts
which are brought to the surface in two giant lifts
and packed on the sleigh which is ever so large
and is kept in a carefully locked up garage
which only gets opened on one day each year
only on Christmas Eve so the sleigh can come here.

Except on the twenty fourth day of December
The one day a year that he has to remember
Father Christmas is happy to stay underground
His motto on the wall of his grotto is found
“With all, share your happiness, that is your role !
“Lots of Love, Father Christmas, from his home, The North Hole.”